September 16, 2008
there are few things that make me weep more than this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8&eurl=http://www.new.facebook.com/profile.php?id=510446520&v=photos
i'm so sorry you decided to watch.
p.w.
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April 02, 2007
one of my heroes...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDaNe665rCc
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March 20, 2007
hey friends,
i just got this from Pastor Sanders in Sri Lanka. please pray for my friends...
"Dear Friends, Family and Prayer Partners,
Situation Report March 2007
Over here the relentless shelling, Aeriel bombardment and Artillery fire continue unabated and refugees fleeing the fighting are pouring into our region. The NGOs have set up camps and are providing them with food and shelter.
There are close to 54 refugee camps in which over 134,000 refugees have taken shelter. This has also given rise to orphans and destitutes; children who have lost either one or both parents; children whose relatives, uncles, aunts and grand-parents have sought admission for them at our Home. Since the upsurge in the fighting we have processed over 700 applications for admission and have admitted the most needy of these to our home. We have the capacity to accomodate 107 children, and at present have 121. We have started construction work to put up one additional wing, a dormitory to the Boys' and the Girls' sections of the Home which will enable us to take in 24 more. We would reserve these places for full orphans; children who have lost both parents.
Every Sunday we feed over 500 of these IDPs who attend our worship services. This is the only decent meal they have in a whole week, and that is the least we can do to these people.
The sights and sounds of war fill our every waking moment. Everywhere, men and women are gathered in knots, huddled in groups, in front of their dusty tents, under trees, even in the middle of streets. Though they try not to show it, they are gripped by panic, uncertainty and fear. They have travelled on foot through jungle routes, and on rafts and boats through lagoon and sea, crossed swollen rivers running through crossfire, to escape renewed fighting between government forces and the LTTE. Talking to these refugees in the camp is heart-rending. Everyone has a story to tell and every story is equally shocking and sorrowful.
"At first we did not want to flee, leaving behind our hard-earned belongings" said one woman, "but everyday shelling and air strikes made us frightened, and when eight of our neighbours died we decided to move". Some have been on the move for over 20 years, and others have fled their homes more recently. Defined as IDPs (Internally Displaced People) they live huddled in tents and their one cry is, "When can we go home?"
The brunt of this war is being borne by the civilian population and the tragedy is heightened when children are exposed to the horrors of this war at such a tender age. We cannot help them all, but let us do as much as we can so that we may help as many as we can, as long as we can.
Thank you for standing along side us in this struggle to provide shelter and care; a Home for these unfortunate children who have fallen victims of this cruel war; who have fallen on hard times due to no fault of their own. Don't just send us money but please pray for this nation for God alone can turn things around in the darkest hour of its history. People here say that things have never been this bad and its hard to imagine that things can get any worse
We thank you for your unstinted and unwavering support to this ministry but please do take some time and send us an encouraging email and I'll be happy to share them with our staff who are working under very trying circumstances and with so much personal sacrifice in order to shelter and feed these children. l thank you all for all what you are to these children: for being a provider, a parent, a friend and a guardian through the extended arms of Samaritan Children's Home.
May God bless you and yours.
Pastor Dayalan Sanders
and the Staff and Children of Samaritan Children's Home"
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January 18, 2007
I once heard a story about a man in Ohio who buried everything he saved.
All his wealth was buried in the ground in different places on his estate.
He didn’t seem like a guy who had millions let alone enough change to buy you a cup of coffee but the proof of his life was in the ground.
He worked his whole life, literally decades of hours of toil and work to save what he would later bury.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with some stupid christianese parable about the wise and foolish – I just think it might be good to see what it is we are working for and saving.
One of the most precious things we enjoy is Truth - something that cannot be denied, that affirms and confirms our place here on this earth and gives us purpose and love. It is something that all enjoy, folks that know and love God and folks that don’t.
Whether God falls into the column of unbelief and nonexistence on your page, it is no matter. We still all enjoy the same benefits. The difference is that some recognize that it is a gift where most don’t.
I say this because I am having trouble loving Jesus and loving His church, my church. I have had to take stock of my last year going thru old interactions with people in and outside of the church. I have had to take stock of my own life and what I have done and professed.
I have heard people quote Paul, rather than Jesus; profess and teach certainty as if the words themselves could be seen in the air as proof enough.
I have seen people starving under violent suns and people getting fat on their gospels.
I have been ridiculed for the company I keep and berated for my criticism of the church.
If integrity is defined by an adherence to a standard how do any of these things show an adherence to Jesus.
I read a great book this year which challenged me to be honest about what I believe and why I believe it. So I have this to say which may probably be of no use to you – God’s truth lies in His people now.
Can I know this for sure, absolutely not! Absolute truth exists to prove this very point.
What is true is that we cannot be certain – not by conventional means. We cannot and never will be certain that what we believe is true.
It takes faith to believe what we cannot see. That is why the gift cannot be buried.
The truth exists and lies in the living – at least those who choose to live.
My words can never prove my God to anyone but my life can - His life in me.
Gods love does not come to this earth in the form of words on a page but by the Word.
This Word lives in me now, maybe in you as well.
What will you do with it? What will I do? how will I respond?
Our lives were never meant to be saved or spared. Give away words, great. How different does that make you? Give away money, fine – there will always be some cause to champion.
Give away your life, change another’s. Offer life and spend all of it before you go to the ground.
The only true thing I have known and experienced is the life afforded me by Jesus.
If I lack words and integrity and fervor I will still have that life living in me – untrue, friend.
If I lack these things what lives in me is not living, but dead.
In Truth, something is true whether or not there is a belief in it. It doesn’t matter if there are one thousands votes against it and one for it. It exists with great integrity independent of belief.
I need to be that way.
What I believe to be true, I cannot grasp completely. I must have faith to complete it, to connect the dots, if you will. But when I live in that life of faith I come alive and that is unmistakable. Will that life, your life, convince someone else of truth – NO!
They need to come with their own questions and demand their own faith. Our job is to love them and offer our lives to them. yes, our faith can save (book of Mark, chapter 2) but far too many people are being demanded into the Kingdom.
God draws them in, we do not. We must love without agenda and give our lives to those who need it.
I cannot prove my beliefs beyond a shadow of a doubt but I can prove my love.
It certainly wont go with me to the ground.
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December 17, 2006
When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
Author, Paul McCartney
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December 01, 2006
"so who is my enemy? they are not far off - i feel them to be close. i will show myself to be lame and sick and the ones that attack and do not show mercy - they are my enemy."
let me think out loud for a bit:
so how does it work in this upside down kingdom of God that i should bless those that persecute me? why, when all i want to do is ask for mercy or retaliate, am i commanded to bless?
why are we commanded to do things that cannot be done by natural means, by human power or will?
let me be frank about my feelings - THAT SUCKS!
now, you and i both know the answer to all this but that kind of obedience comes at a great, immediate, earth-borne cost and it is a blow to my ego and a frustration to my independence that my sacrifice, whatever it will be is not mine to give either. whatever is asked of me was and is given to me as well.
so the guarantee is that there is no life outside of the vine. are you excited about that?
what if you dont like the "process of the vine"? does that matter? am i allowed to disagree with all this?
i guess i can but who wants to live a life (after knowledge to the contrary) without a shepherd - without a protector.
if life is bad now, it will be unbearable coloring "outside of the lines".
if i feel trapped and unhappy in the midst of a freedom given me then what am i missing?
"who is my enemy? they seek me as i seek peace."
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November 02, 2006
This has been an extraordinary couple of months of restoration and inspiration.
I just got back on Saturday from a few weeks in the UK visiting some great people and seeing the amazing revival going on in the church.
I cant even explain how good it was to go back and see the faces that I have been thinking of for the last year.
The church is growing in number and zeal and it is so contagious!
Thank you to my host families, the spellers, blacks, bates, carneys and stockmans. It was truly a blessing to be with you all.
Friends, thank you for your prayers over the last few months. They are well appreciated.
Some of you may know that I applied for a job as a worship pastor in Chicago a couple of months ago. Got turned down yesterday so it doesn’t look like I will be making the move to the windy city. Still waiting for the Lord to tell me where to go. Its time to slow down and spend less time on the road. I miss my church and my church family – so I will be looking for a new church and am waiting to hear where that will be. I would appreciate your prayers to that end.
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October 10, 2006
please pray for my friends - i just got this update from the pastor in Sri Lanka:
"Fighting between the LTTE and the government troops have intensified and shows no sign of abating. Abductions and summary executions are the order of the day. These past few days have been hell on earth. It's 5am here now and we are all taking cover from heavy shelling and artillery fire that's been going on since 3am. My wife is cradling our 6 month old infant in her arms as he's been howling and crying due to the thunderous and earth shattering explosions that's been rocking this region for the past hour. As I write, the night sky erupts with flashes of lightning as shells explode followed by machine gun fire. Earth shattering explosions sent our children who were sleeping out in the open, due to the sweltering heat, scurrying indoors for cover. Heavy exchange of machinegun fire lasted through the night."
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September 04, 2006
I needed today – man, I needed it. Dave Chilcoat, my friends father and the man who started Young Life in Columbus passed away a few days ago. Today was his memorial service.
If I had to guess I would say there were a thousand people there mourning and rejoicing – Dave has a new body.
He was diagnosed with ALS in October of 2003 and has spent the last three years battling his illness but in all that was able to recover an amazing sense of the Lords presence in His life.
He made a video that played today and in it I remember him describing waking up in the middle of the night, not being able to sleep and just “being” with Lord – God holding him and comforting him.
It was an eerie reality to be face with, listening to a man who was a respected lawyer, pilot, mechanic, race car driver, father, husband and spiritual model to my friends talk about, with intense emotion, the moments when the Lord would just be with him, just hold him, comfort and listen to him.
I have been to two memorial services in the last week celebrating two beautiful lives and it has made me remember one thing – that my life is slipping away beneath me.
I will not get this time back. I will not be given a second chance at those minutes behind me and noone else will.
The sick, the lame, the poor - they know how to be held and comforted because it is out of their control. Life is out of their control. I spend most of my time trying to get stronger so I won’t need that. I certainly don’t admit that I want it. I don’t want it, who wants to feel weak?!
I have experienced the love of my brothers and family the last few weeks – thank you.
God has used you to hold me up and give me courage.
I apologize for my last few journal posts. I have hit a low in my life that has taken me beyond my faculties and I have been thinking and praying my way through a lot of random emotions (maybe not so random) – some of those out loud.
It is a strange thing to call this season home but I guess it is necessary.
Thank you for the emails and phone calls – they are well appreciated.
My friend Dave is running around in heaven right now and I envy him. I long for that day. His suffering is over – he finished strong and was “God’s man”, the man he always wanted to be. His life slipped away beneath him and he gained everything he was promised.
I hope my life leaves me the same way.
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August 30, 2006
i dont know if sorrow is given to us to make us appreciate its absence. it doesnt seem to make sense that we were made to be just become stronger.
stress, then suffering, then breakdown, then relief, then restoration and then strength - that just seems like a pointless cycle.
i know it in my head more than in my gut but i hope there's more than that. i hope that we're not made to suffer just to become stronger for the next bout. if thats the case then half of me dies - where i am robbed of emotions that are wired into me. i hope that joy is more than becoming stronger. i hope that it includes rest, and dare i say, fun. i hope that it means awe and wonder. i hope that it means i get to smile on a regular basis (wish i was known for that). i hope, i hope...
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August 13, 2006
i am hoping for better things
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August 10, 2006
i have lost everything good in my life - so what is next?
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July 18, 2006
here's something fun that i just found on the web:
http://www.northeastintune.com/index.php?bd=reg&sb=land&article=060630
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June 27, 2006
please be praying for my friends at the orphanage in Sri Lanka. they are meeting great opposition right now. below is an email that Pastor Sanders just sent me:
"Dear Friends, Family and Prayer Partners,
Thanks for your continued and fervant prayers for this ministry. For without your intense and faithful prayers we will not be able to stand against the onslaught of the forces of darkness.
The devil, these days, is unrelenting in his attacks against us and just last morning we had to face another wave of attacks from another group of people from the village of Navalady, (that's where we were before the Tsunami), who had made false alegations against us to the authorities saying that we had acquired the land at Navalady illegaly, and had brought along with them the media and made huge protests in front of our former orphanage complex at Navalady. The TV network called 'Shakthi TV', which is predominantly a Tamil, Hindu news agancy, are getting ready to brodcast a programme on their network accusing us of these utterly baseless and false allegations. We have also learnt that there are very powerful Tamil government officials involved in this malicious slander campaign that has been concocted against us. I have spoken to higher officials of this TV nerwork in Colombo and have lodged a very strong protest against what they are planing to do. A top official of this network has given me the assuarance that he will look into this and get back to me. Given the mood in the country, and the pressure, intimidation and terror employed by those in positions of power, Evil may triumph over Truth unless God over rules it. That's why we need your paryers.
Since after the Tsunami, Anti- Christian elements from various sections of the public have embarked on a slander campaign against Christian Aid and Releif organizations in an attempt to discredit and nullify the good that they have been doing in this country. The outpouring of love and sympathy that came into the country in the form of food, clothing and shelter not only met the needs of the victims but also deeply touched their lives, hearts and minds. Ever since, extremist elements from both the political and religious domains of Sri Lanka have tried to counter this rising wave of popularity of Christian donar and relief agencies by engaging in such viscious campaigns of slander. The devil is a liar and the father of lies and he is not going to take things lying low when we make inroads into his territories. When God's enemies unite to wage war against God and His Church, we - God's children, need to band together and marshal not only our resources but also lift up our voices in unision to speak out against evil and cry out in prayer to God who can do more than what we ask or think of. In the past, your prayers have made a world of difference to this ministry, and we are certain it will continue to do so now and also in the future.
We will appreciate your fervent paryers for these concerns and trials we are going through now. May God, the giver of all good gifts, shower on you His blessings for your part in this spiritual warfare.
You, your family and church are in our prayers. We love you in Christ our Lord, Master and Saviour.
In Jesus our Lord - who is altogether LOVELY,
Dayalan."
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May 18, 2006
hey folks,
here is an excerpt from a recent email that Pastor Sanders wrote me:
"Thanks for interceding for me. Prayer seems a worthless exercise but it moves the heart of almighty God who moves heaven and earth to answer those prayers for us. Please thank all those who are praying for us. We value it more than all else.
As far as this country goes none can predict "what a day may bring forth." We still got two months to watch events as they unfold, to see whether they'd improve or deteriorate. We've prayed for this nation hard enough, and long enough for it not to regress back to a bloody war, and that's what keeps us going despite of these disheartening and daunting turn of events. So let's plan and commit all things in God's hands. When He wills it, none can overturn it. It shall come to pass. A visit by mid August would be fine with us."
i am planning a trip to go back to Batticaloa, Sri Lanka in august but the current political situation is making that trip unlikely. i am asking that you pray for that country and for peace. History is going to take place soon as the Gospel moves into a culture which has been hostile to Jesus for centuries. the enemy is going to try and slow the hand of God at every turn so we need to pray that God chooses to move now.
i want to see these folks come to know the Lord now - not later. and we can do nothing but pray that God acts on our behalf. i know He hears us.
please pray for Pastor Sanders' strength and wisdom as he feels alone and in his task to rebuild the orphanage. the fighting is escalating and adding tension to an already fragile situation.
please continue to pray for finances for the orphange to be finished and also that the children remain safe and can stay in their new home.
i am indebted to you for your prayers.
Godspeed.
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May 15, 2006
I can’t count how many times I have told other people that if you sit long enough that you will recognize the voice of God speaking to you.
So the mistake lies not in our ears but in our feet, right? Our “spiritual” ears, so to speak are attached directly to our hearts. And our hearts were made to “hear”, recognize, discern and enjoy the voice of God.
I am writing right now because I feel far from God – I cannot feel Him, I haven’t heard Him (in a while) and what I do hear now is different from what I have been doing these past few months.
I feel like I have made mistakes that I can’t recover from. I haven’t sat… long enough. I haven’t listened well enough and I am scared that I am going to be left to the consequences of my independent ears.
My whole life is up in the air right now and I have no answers. And I have no comfort in knowing that what I have done is not what God wanted but what I wanted.
So what happens now? Do I ask God to demolish it – this crappy little temple (idea) that I have had or do I ask God to give me the grace to walk my mistakes thru to completion.
I don’t know. I just don’t know what is better. I don’t even know if there is a right answer to my question.
I just know I feel far away.
Friends, I would just ask for your prayers right now.
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April 15, 2006
could the Kingdom of God be shown to someone through me? ya know, few times has it been in question more than tonight.
i just got back in my house after having a little "talk" with my neighbors here on campus.
i was in my room talking with some friends and i heard the usual weekend sound of bottles breaking in the street.
there is one house of "tools" that just thinks its funny to throw beer and rum bottles in the street and up in my driveway and consequently under my truck (and my roommates cars).
i keep strange hours and rarely go to bed before 4am so i am usually watching the festivities on the weekends that i am in town. i have never said anything til now and i think i did handle myself really well but what scares me is the thoughts that were running through my head.
thoughts of what i would do to these young men if they stepped outside their door and lied to me about what happened. thoughts of them getting in my face and talking trash to me and worst case scenario... well, thats not important right now.
so all that said, Jesus went before me, controlled my tongue and body language but my thoughts took me elsewhere. i wonder if i am any different than i was 10 years ago or maybe its just that i am wearing cleaner layers of Jesus on the outside now so when i peel back a few i still see myself as righteous. what happens if i peel back one more - what will i see?
so i am in my room right now and when i am not writing i am pacing and doing pushups and situps and trying not to get too rattled about the fact that another bottle is probably going to be thrown in a couple of hours when my lights go off - my thoughts turn to this; what i am entitled to?
i read this book called "Calvary Road" which i absolutely hated. i think i hated it because i knew that what the saying was essentially true - that my only rights were the ones that Jesus affords me (and thats few at most).
i have the right and privilege to love people, serve them and take it on the chin even when evil is laughing at me, provoking me. i have the right to say nothing and turn my cheek. i even have the right to look weak and foolish but for some reason i cant find a place in the bible where it says i can fight for my civil rights over my biblical ones. i cant find a place in the bible that says that i can fight the fight of a democrat or republican over my fight against the things i cannot see. and i certainly cant find anything that says my enemy deserve wrath rather than mercy.
if it does, than i have to take on that same fate myself. its no wonder the Spirit that dwells in me feels so foreign in my flesh. i cant stop feeding my flesh! tv, radio, opinions... these are not my enemy. my enemy is defeated.
so why am i trying to become what i have always been (in the sight of Jesus).
why do i identify with who i was more than who i am? i (we) must become obsessed with Jesus - if we do then we will become obsessed with people and my suspicion is that the rest will play itself out without worry.
my right is to be who i was intended to be, yours too. i guess my question for myself is - is that what i really want? i know i say it is but is that truly what i seek?
can the Kingdom of God come to someone through me - absolutely! will the Kingdom of God come to someone in spite of me - most assuredly!
am i frustrated that God continues to work in the midst of me being a "tool" - definitely. why? - because i want the credit for being righteous.
i must, why else would i be bothered?
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April 03, 2006
well, as usual its been a busy couple weeks for me.
got to head out to iowa for a few days and visit with some friends and play a few show - i love that state. well, actually not the state but the people. everyone is so nice and friendly! it will blow your mind if you are not used to nice people.
much love to my folks in fort dodge, ia - miss you guys!
had a few days off to hang out with friends and then headed to MO for a couple of days and a work crew reunion. and thanks to some old water in a nalgene or a nasty sandwich at a gas station i got food poisoning. that took me out for two days but i snapped back and got to enjoy some time with my WC kids from castaway this summer.(i love you guys - it was great being with you all).
i just got in to chicago yesterday and spent the day listening to the mixes on the new cd. i am really excited for this thing to come out. but it is still not sure whether it will be ready by late april. please keep checking the website for details!
i start planning my sri lanka trip this month and trying to figure out if we can even go (with the country being unstable) in august, who will go, what we will be doing etc. we are def. taking more folks on this trip so i have enlisted help to take care of the logistical details.
Pastor Sanders and Kohela had a baby march 31st, 2006 - James Johanen Elijah Sanders. please continue to pray for them and young James as they work the blessing of child number two and continue to labor to finish the orphanage by the late spring. there seems to be setback after setback, things going slower than anticipated and financial issues always surrounding Gods work but i know that it is always worth the work and wait.
please continue to pray for our work in Sri Lanka -
God is doing a mighty work and i feel blessed to be a part of it.
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March 16, 2006
Ok, so I haven’t journaled in a while but I got an email from a friend wondering where I have been (so to speak) so I thought I should get back to it.
For some reason I haven’t had much to say. I go to my journal page every day but nothing ever seems to come – guess I needed a push.
I am in the studio right now listening to Mr. Tom Yarbrough tear it up on the mando on “here’s to hope”, a song that I have only played for one person in my life.
I was only planning on a doing a 7 song cd but the songs went so well that I scheduled to come back in and do 3 more. I can’t even explain how excited I am for this cd to come out – its sounds amazing! I know that’s not really fair to say considering that it’s my cd but for what its worth, I think its my best stuff.
The producer, Stephen, has done an amazing job and the players have been so fun to work with and have brought such an amazing feel to each track. I don’t get giddy about anything except for maybe fishing and “ultimate fighting” but I am certainly smiling about this.
I followed my time in Chicago and Wisconsin with a week in Phoenix. I watched one of my good friends get married and spent a week with some of my old young life kids (who are now leaders) - it was an amazing time!
Thank you Andi, Trent, Lindsay and Ryan for your hospitality and help and special thanks to Blades and Ashley for helping me with merch and recording. You all were great!
One of my closest friends, Cameron, lives in Phoenix now and it was such a blessing to see him and meet his girlfriend for the first time (what a great girl!). he is part of a church plant out there that I am really excited about – they have really surrounded themselves with some great folks and I look forward to seeing that community grow.
The weather in phoenix was amazing but I think it was unseasonably cool – everyone kept telling me that it was colder than usual, probably why I liked it so much.
I am looking forward to extending my fall tour to get me to AZ to spend a solid few weeks out there. if I could survive the heat (as “dry” as people tell me it is) I would move out there in a heart beat – it is a beautiful area.
(Tom, just hit a wrong note and for some reason none of us can stop laughing. Wow, its been a long day in here)
just found out that I got into LIFEST 2006 in Oshkosh, WI ( so that’s kind of cool).
i played at a church in WI last week and some of the folks I met run the festival and asked me to come out for a night. I am really excited to go and play – it will be a bit tricky as I have to fly out of Saranac Lake, NY, travel on three different planes and one bus just to play one evening and go back the same way in the period of 36 hours. Guess I will be packing light for that one.
So enough of the small talk… have you ever felt like you have been doing everything wrong and God still continues to bring thing together for you? That’s exactly where I am right now. So many things – doors opening, doors closing, people, places etc have happened, taken place, been introduced, been dismissed, paid for, given to, left behind…
I am doing nothing and so much of my life is being wrapped up so I can have closure. I don’t think the Lord means for me to forget about my past but it’s definitely time for a new season in my life.
I think I will be moving this year – don’t know where yet but definitely feel like its time to move from the cbus. I could easily be wrong on that one but it’s what my gut tells me.
I guess we’ll see where I land in the fall.
Friends, thank you for your prayers and support – I cant wait to see what God does this year…
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March 03, 2006
i love this story!!!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-818944862742874918&q=basketball%2C+autistic
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February 23, 2006
Nashville, fun? i dont know if i have had this much fun doing music in a while. and, technically, i am not really "doing" music - i have just been recording and watching the other guys layer tracks the past two weeks. i guess thats the part i am really giddy about - hearing what Stephen, Andrew, Aaron, Paul, Tom and Matt have added to these songs has been incredible!
i cant wait for it to be done!!!
this has been a great trip on so many different levels. i guess i have never had a great impression of nashville and the industry here and have been quite critical of it. but God has allowed me to hang with a group of "real", sincere folks and it has radically humbled my cynicism. this community down here is generous and loving and has been very welcoming to me.
(and they have this killer burrito joint that puts Chipotle to shame - no lie).
the spring is turning into a busy time. i will be coming back home for a good part of april which i am really excited about. i had to cancel (postpone) my trip to the U.K. and my tour of TX to be on the safe side til my health stuff gets sorted out but being closer to home is an attractive alternative.
i will be revisiting NY and PA which were an absolute treat my last time through and playing a good bit of OH which i dont get to do very much.
please be praying (or keeping your fingers crossed, whatever it is you do) that the rest of production goes smoothly and i can get the orphanage documentary done in time to put on the cd. i am hoping to do my release party in Columbus in early may so keep the first weekend open if you want to make a road trip to the party/concert. we always have room at the Corbanhouse (my house) and if we get full up we can find places for you to stay.
well, back to the vocal booth. more later...
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February 17, 2006
hey yall,
a friend sent this to me to forward. Gary is serving in the military in Irag while his wife is at home fighting cancer - i thought it would be better to post as a prayer request. please pray for Cindy when you have a moment.
"My name is Gary Hogan. Some of you receiving this know me, some do not. My wife, Cindy, is 32 years old and has just been diagnosed 3 days ago with stage 4 cervical cancer and her chances for survival are very slim. She was pregnant with our second child and had miscarried recently at 3 months, and now we know why. This is a request for you to forward this to everyone you know asking for prayer. The more people that pray for her to be healed, the better.
Pray and forward. It only takes a second to hit "forward".Please do it and don't delete this, your prayer can, and perhaps will, save her life. Please pray and ask everyone you know to pray for the HEALING of Cindy and the removal of all cancer in her body, so she may enjoy all that life has to offer and to continue to be the wonderful mother to our 5 year old son, Michael. The power of Prayer is unsurpassed. I want the whole world to have her in their prayers the next few weeks. God will hear our cry. Please do not be offended by my plea.. This is only a request for your help. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
for reading this and helping with our request for healing! No words can express the power we have when we each do a little to come together.
Regards,
Cindy's in-love husband - Gary"
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February 14, 2006
it has been a really good two days in the studio. i have been working with Stephen Gause of Invertigo Studios and he has me working with some of the most down to earth folks. i really have liked everyone i have met so far and i am excited about this project. i cant wait to hear the finished project!
i have been feeling a lot better this last week. i think slowing down a bit and taking care of my eating and sleep habits have made a huge difference. thanks for the continued prayers and support. it has meant a lot to me receive so many emails asking about my health. you are well appreciated.
please keep praying for Pastor Sanders and the children in Sri Lanka - the fighting has resumed (although both parties have entered peace talks this week). please keep praying for the uninterrupted work of the folks who are rebuilding the orphanage and please pray for Gods hand in protecting the children from harm. the violence seems to be random at times and i am not excited about the possibility of the children being involved somehow.
thank you for partnering with me and offering your prayers for them - they are family to me now and i really appreciate it.
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February 11, 2006
GOOD NEWS!!! i got my CT scan back and the docs didnt find any large blood clots in my system.
when i go home in a few weeks i will need to get some more tests done to figure out what damage has been done to my lungs but all is good for now.
thanks for your prayers and support.
Godspeed.
p.w.
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February 07, 2006
i am not a big fan of being alone. had to go to the hospital again today for more tests and let the docs poke and prod for me for an eternity. my sister couldnt go with me so i tried to keep my mind occupied while i waited.
i was fine til i got up there and smelled the place. life isnt supposed to be so sterile - dirt is good to some measure. at least it smells and tells you where not to be.
this place smelled like "stuff" covered up with chemicals.
the folks were really nice though and the lady held my hands for a while before she sent me into the machine.
i kept thinking of the words to that rich mullins song,
"So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won't You be my Prince of Peace "
most of the people there were getting tested for cancer or some other serious ailments - me, not so much but you would have thought so seeing me so anxious.
i prayed that life would start to slow down and it certainly has. i have lost interest in grinding on the road so much - i just want to be home with family and friends and dig in.
i still love music and want to be out there but thats a balance that the Lord will have to strike.
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February 01, 2006
hey friends,
i got an update from Pastor Sanders who runs the orphanage that i visited in Sri Lanka.
he and the children could really use our prayers right now. here is an excerpt from his email to me.
"The political situation in the country too has been deteriorating rapidly. There were mass exoduses of people from the uncleared areas as fighting broke out, and residents living close to army and police camps were asked to move away to safer areas. According to the latest reports people in the north are streaming into the Vanni and the GA Mullaiteevu has appealed to the NGOs to set up emergemcy shelters to accomodate those fleeing the fighting. India has once again opened up the Refugee camps that had been closed down to shelter refugees who are fleeing from Mannar via Thanashkodi by boat. Out lying villages of Batticaloa are garrissoned by forces loyal to the Karuna faction cutting off infiltration from the north while state forces within the city who have suffered heavy casualties since hostilities broke out are trying desperatly to keep things under controll. Daily there have been atleast two or three major incidents taking place just within city limits. What goes on elsewhere is all pretty much censored. Even news reaching us of incidents in neighbouring villages are sketchy and unverifiable due to the tight security in the region. But thank God, the intervention of the Norwegian Peace Envoy has pulled things back from the brink and both parties have agreed to resume Peace Talks, which are scheduled to take place in Switzerland shortly.
Despite all of this our construction crew are all continuing to work. The Sinhala Masons whom I had hired from the south of the country got jittery last week and almost left. We have renewed the lease on all three houses we are presently occupying till the end of April. God willing that will give us sufficient time to complete everything and move into our new Home in time for the second school term.
With love and prayers from all of us at Samaritan Children's Home.
God bless.
Dayalan."
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January 31, 2006
just walked in the door today from PA and sat down with my guitar. it felt good to be at home and be able to fiddle around a bit.
thanks to everyone who came out this past week to share an evening with me in PA and MD. your hospitality and company was amazing and i am really looking forward to coming back.
special thanks to all the folks who drove long distance to see me and hang out. your support is a huge encouragement to me to keep writing and playing.
heading into the studio in two weeks to do the new cd - getting kind of nervous but definitely excited about the new stuff. i think its the best stuff i have written (but thats just my opinion).
been playing the Sri Lanka dvd at my shows and have been getting a huge response to it. i am so excited for what the Lord is doing over there and i know that revival is coming. i dont use those words lightly - i truely believe that God is about the open doors in Sri Lanka to bring people to Jesus. i am looking forward to being a part of it and bringing some more friends with me.
and i know that whoever goes will be forever accountable to the things that God will show us.
i think the greater change may even occur here in the US from the folks who come back from an experience like this.
may God give us His speed in this endeavor.
friends, please continue to pray for Pastor Sanders and the children and if you have even a few dollars, please go online and donate money (www.samaritanchildrenshome.org) for their efforts to rebuild the home for the children. 100% of the money given to them on their website will go directly to the orphanage. all of us involved in the orphanage are volunteers so you can be sure that your money will be well invested.
Godspeed to you.
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January 22, 2006
man, tonight was amazing! we had 200 people show up for our toledo YL fundraiser we were able to raise a ton of money for our friends.
thank you selma, private pyle and tessa for making the trip from MSU - you guys rock!
it was great to be able to play for my old friends and family. you all got a great thing going on in toledo.
look forward to doing that again.
more later...
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January 20, 2006
getting ready to head out to grand island today - looking forward to it.
had a great turnout last night in syracuse - thank you pastor fleming for letting me come back and do a show! i always enjoy being there with you all.
and thanks to alex and rachael for doing so much promotional work - you guys are great.
jamie and sarah, thanks for hanging out afterwards, hope you didnt get in too much trouble.
i feel better today, after some good rest and some exercise the other day. the next few days should be good. i am going to see some old friends and do a fundraiser in toledo for some YL folks.
if you are in the area, make sure you come out - it is a worthy cause.
more later...
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January 12, 2006
my first show back after being sick and i fared pretty well. played at the garage in springboro, oh - thanks jeff and seth for having me out to play and thanks to brian and dylan for promoting the show so well. i had a great time and am looking forward to coming back.
good to see some YL folks out - always love to talk shop with ya. thanks sharon and jacobs for making the trip from Miami. sorry you had to drive an hour to catch a show seeing as though i will be playing at your school in about 17 hours - but we'll make up for that with a little surprise for the person responsible for all this chaos (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
feel like the pneumonia is finding its way out of my lungs but still dealing with shortness of breath and serious fatigue. appreciate all your prayers - looking forward to getting through this time. its been a humbling experience but i am ready to feel better and have my energy back.
been playing the Sri Lanka video for folks - at least the rough edit of it. the response has been overwhelming - it feels like i have a full trip already. please continue to pray for the Pastor and for the children. the fighting is escalating and it is increasingly more difficult for work to progress on the new orphanage.
and, as always, please support them financially.
go to their website and donate (www.samaritanchildrenshome.org). i am not a paid spokesperson for them and noone but the orphanage is getting this money. everyone involved is a volunteer. i am just wanting to champion their cause and get them the support they need to take care of these children and the ones to come.
prayerfully consider how you can spare $25 or $50 this month. and if you are wealthy or have the resources to help, find a way to give ten fold.
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January 04, 2006
had a strange couple of days - i guess my last couple of years of being on the road has caught up with me.
i went in to the doctor yesterday to see if i had pnuemonia and they sent me to the ER for a cat scan because i showed signs of a "pulmonary embolism". turns out that i do have pneumonia but i also have some kind of blockage in my lungs that is preventing me from breathing well. they think i have developed blood clots in my legs from all the travel (sitting in airplanes and in my truck without movement).
i tell you what, the first doctor got all serious on me before he rushed me out of his office but i was really at peace the whole day - all 12 bloody hours in the ER. so much for the emergency. but i was really comfortable with it all, dont know why.
it was an incrediby long time to get inconclusive results but i got to spend 8 of the hours with my sister catching up on life and making friends with the other patients and staff. all in all, it was a pretty cool time, minus the part about the vice on my chest and all the electrodes they stuck on me. (i have to remember to shave my chest on a regular basis for these kinds of things).
would definitely appreciate your prayers though - i am not out of the woods yet. i have some tests that i am waiting on and i'm guessing "they" are probably going to put me on some crappy diet where i eat mulch and tomatoes all the time, who knows.
but God is good and i am really looking forward to keeping in touch with these docs. they were great people to have caring for me.
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